Appa, I will cry no more No more tears that you are no more Not because I do not miss you Not because I do not love you But because it will hurt you To see your little girl cry Tears that was hardened by righteousness Tears that judged you for being wrong The heart froze with it To falsify a new feeling of strength A power that chose not to love A force that blinded me to your love The hardness has finally melted away It took fire to melt it away I set you on fire, not because of my hardness appa But my hearts' call of duty to set you free Free from the desires of the world that hurt you Free from the pains that you cried from I will cry no more Miss no more For I can feel you around me See you when I look within See you when I look into the mirror The fire could not take this away 30/09/15 The longest moment in my life was the time when I had to push the button during my dad's cremation. It was sometime after that I began to grief. The experience helped me to value the rituals that you don't understand or try to rationalise. At some point, I also felt that melting away was a great way to move on especially now that I have kids. I want them to go on and live their life fully and hope that they know that a part of me is within them.