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  • Malar Villi

Star Studded By A Rock

Updated: Apr 25


The only way for your to overcome your fear is to face it! I heard him say. I felt agitated. If I could face it, I wouldn't fear it, would I? The blind optimism bit about motivational speakers annoy me. I am not sure how I got my fear, but I remember through my childhood memories, meeting ' unwanted ' spirit in the dark only. There would be days where my dad used to take me to the mosque to overcome my fear. There were also many nights that their visits go unrecognised. I would close my eyes so hard, and these were the times even the darkness cannot save me from my fear of a greater darkness. I would try and shout for help, but feel muted. No voice. No help. And I could only pray in silence that the light will come, and I will be safe again. When it did, life will continue as if the darkness never existed before darkness strikes again. Over the years, the incidences were lesser. Once in a way when it returned, I would close my eyes so tight and hope the light will find its way somehow. Many years passed till I had to face it again when I was asked to attend a team-building program which was made compulsory by the organisation. As a part of the exercise is an activity where I was to track alone with only the stars as my guiding force. The previous participants warned me about the voices I would hear, but I learned to ignore them with the hope that the stars would light my path. The day finally arrived. I stepped out, and the human voices disappeared, I stood for a long time before I began to walk. There was no sound around; I kept my eyes shut tight. I was hoping for stars, but I could not possibly know if they were there to guide me. It seemed like a whole night passed and I was feeling tired and not making any progress. I rather lose my sleep then open my eyes. Suddenly, I heard sounds. My heart raced. Could it be them? I thought I would collapse. I knocked on to a small rock, fell and opened my eyes, closed my mouth, to silence my scream as I face the spirits. My mouth opened wide. Oh My God. The clear sky filled with diamond-like stars. Star studded. I lied down and gazed in awe for as long as I wanted. I slowly stood up reluctantly and continued my tracking, this time, with my eyes wide open. I continued to hear the noises that were made to scare me, but I smiled calmly knowing that they were neither real nor powerful. The spirits must have watched me, only to be disappointed and leave. They hold no more power over me. They have never visited me, since. There are times that I feel thrown in the darkness and feel completely lost for direction. These are the times I wish for a little light or the rock to be thrown my way so that the fall that will help me to get over the fear that rules me.





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