Shruts shouted " Lil, stop copying me! It's so annoying" . I looked out and decided to find a quick way to pacify her. I quickly interrupted with my smart answer "She is not copying you but role modelling, since you are the big sister.". "What's the difference?", Shruts shrugged her shoulder . Now that was trouble for me because I haven't thought of the next line .
She waited patiently as she fed the fish at the park in Kulai, her favourite place whenever she visits her grandma. Shruts, I offered , ' You know when you copy someone you do exactly the same thing as the other person without thinking if you want to be like them" . She shook her head in agreement and said and the other word ? Well, role modelling means that she wants to be like you because she likes and probably thinks that it will be wonderful to be like her big sister. She admires you. " Really? Shruts eyes widened and then she turned to Lil and said , Ok you can copy me . Let's go and feed the fish, Lil." I felt so relieved that she was satisfied but I had just begun to think. I started wondering who my role models were , and how I probably copy them. I thought of the professionals whom I admire and the cool looking mothers and had at some point quietly wished to be like them. Did I actually want to role model them, knowing exactly why I wanted to be like them , having understood their belief and values ? My mind continued to wonder , this time, more conscious of being an original version of myself , with role modelling instead of becoming a photocopy of another.