One more day
I must file... I frantically looked through the piles of paper that I have collecting and keeping the last 30 years of my working life, just in case they were useful. What if someone asked me a question and the answers were in this 'just in case ' pile. Oh My God, I remembered these papers that needed filing, the kitchen that needs cleaning and the toilet that needs washing. What will people think of me, I wondered as I saw eyes staring through the glass. Can I not just have one more day, I wished and prayed so hard. God, I promise you, I won't ask you for more, just another day, to put things in order. It's important that everything is in order when people visit me. Was I home? I began to wonder. Did he remember that I wanted to leave my home or was he worried that the house would need cleaning? My tears just trickled. I tried wiping them, but my hands won't move. They were in a praying position, and all I need now is to wipe away my tears, not pray. Please . My hands couldn't move. People cannot see me like this. They will know. I could smell roses on my chest. Did he remember that I loved roses, I wondered. As I tried to blink off my tears so that no one would see, I panicked. I forgot to place the contact lenses in the cabinet. I shouted " Baby" to my only daughter, but she would not respond. Well, I should be quiet. I might annoy her. What if she says..Amma it's a small issue, please. Don't make it big. You can do it when you come up later in the night. I am also tired. My tears trickled non-stop. I panicked. I need to talk to her. She will help me this time. Please, somebody, help. I looked out for my better half. If only he would look through this glass, he would know that I need help. Please, I prayed. I cannot die now. I need one more day. God heard me. I got up and wiped away my tears. The pillow was a little wet. I took the one day I asked for and walked around the house quickly and smiled as all seem to be in order. Oh, what a relief, it was only a dream. I slowly walked to the study where the papers were waiting for filing. I shredded them. As I began to destroy them, without the temptation to file them, I felt relieved. Later on, I went on the net and signed up for the music classes that I dreamed of for years, while waiting for life to be in order first. Today, the law will change. I smiled as I gathered the shredded papers to recycle.