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  • Writer's pictureMalar Villi

Being home in 2020



"Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It's about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let out true selves be seen." ~ Brene Brown


We often hear about authenticity, and the desire to be authentic shows up in various conversations, posts, photographs and books. It is inspirational and aspirational. Yet, what does being authentic mean? It is equally important to know what is, not being authentic.


But what does being authentic really mean and how does it show up in the real world. We would have heard of faking it, i.e. .not genuine. Yet, we quote 'fake it until you make it as a mantra to success.


In our current world, where being our original version is aspirational, and outliers are celebrated, it should be easy. Yet, we get rewarded when we role model 'other' successful personalities. We master assessments and profiling tools to show up as the best or right candidate. We want to be the best fit. We read autobiographies of successful celebrities, and we strive to embody how to think, feel, act like them, modelling their excellence.


In the midst of all these, we sing passionately to "Let It Go' and 'This Is Me " expressing the spirit in seeking our birthright, the acceptance of the world around me, to be uniquely me. It feels so good, it must be right. It feels like home. We pause for a moment to enjoy this moment.


But then, life goes on. We choose to be guest in our home instead.


When we are not accepted for who we are are, it makes sense to fit in. We fit into the personalities that are expected of the job, boss, culture, and career options and ultimately, relationships. We learn how to answer the questions correctly, in a way that is applauded. We learn how to explains conflicting subject matters most diplomatically, to avoid comments that are controversial in nature or rejects us. We learn how to 'fit in' to meet the outcomes that we want in life. These outcomes determine what it means to be successful, a pre-determined formula by the majority that we continue to learn, practice and perform.


And then we have some 'awakening' days, overwhelmed, feeling tired of life, loss of energy, disoriented or separated from self. We reflect, promise to be true to self, again. Soon, we recognise that it is costly to be true to self or we have come too far to turn back or maybe too late to start over. We think about the people who may not accept us for being 'home' and decide otherwise. Maybe later. Perhaps next year, once I have achieved all my goals, met my objectives, fulfilled my obligations and responsibilities.


The wake-up calls are heard with the bad news that we hear of another' illness, death, regrets or pains. We pause, rewind and play. Later, I will be at home. It's not faking. It's fitting in. Over and over again.


When we find some time to look hard into the mirror, we don't recognise the person we meet there anymore. There is a price is for being wholly me. Or the Prize of being my true self.


Its a choice, an essential choice. A decision that could lead to a fulfilling life, happiness and being inflow. Its' a long term prize versus short term price. But in the instant gratification space, short term prize versus long term price is the practical choice. The price is chronic stress, the dis-ease of the body-mind system, and compromising living to exist.


I am excited that I feel more ready to embrace being home. How about you?

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